I don’t like my writing

I don’t like my writing. Is this a thing? Is this something all writers have? I like my ideas and I like certain sentences and words I write. But I’m never satisfied with the end product.

I alway have lots to say. I’m a big talker with strong opinions. Sometimes I have so much I want to say and so many thoughts I do not want to lose, that I  get lost in my own head. That’s also the way I write. When I have a theme or an opinion I want to write about, I just start writing. Then more and more ideas and feelings come to the surface and before I know it, my text just doesn’t make any sense. When I read it over and over to rewrite and eliminate things, I still believe that everything what I write makes sense. It just doesn’t fit together.

And that’s my issue: I just can’t bring my jumble of thoughts together in one text. Maybe that has to do with my personality? I’m quite restless, as well as in my mind as in my body. Always thinking, always talking, always reading. I just can’t let things go. But that’s not making me a good writer. I love to write and I want to practice and get better but it is quite hard, because then I also have to change a bit of my personality.

I have a feeling I’m doing it again.

I also write, just like I talk. Teachers at school always told me I have a significant style of writing. I never quite worked out if this was a negative or a positive comment… I write with long and short sentences mingled together. With lots of questions and answers. I like to use the art of repeating. Don’t know if I master it yet. Mostly I just like to write like the way I feel, which almost always troubled with something.

I often can’t reach my conclusion. If you read my other things, you may notice it. I lose the plot midway in my text and try to find it again in the end. This is what makes my writing quite messy. From one thing to another. Shit, I’m doing it now, aren’t I?

So. I will try to work on it. I can only do this by writing more and reading more getting more feedback. Please, bear with me. Ironically, I think this was one of my better texts…

 

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