Hate is an ugly thing. I personally try not to hate anything or anyone. But sometimes it is hard, especially with people. When you don’t like certain things, you just don’t use them or buy them. But when you don’t like certain people, and you can do nothing about their presence in your life, you have to find a way to deal with it.
I always try to get to know someone before I judge them. Note: I say ‘try’, I’m not perfect. Sometimes you have to try a little harder than other times. And sometimes, the click just doesn’t come. I have mostly experienced this with teachers, but then you just have to put your pride away and plough through the few classes you have with that person. He or she is quite important for your future. I have experienced this with friends of friends. Then I just can’t understand how we both like the same people but just not each other.
It’s the hardest when the person you hate is someone in the family. Someone you love, loves the person you hate enough to build a life with him or her. The number one advice in this case is: try, try more, try harder. But if it still isn’t right after 15 years and it gets worse? I just stop trying. I don’t care anymore. Or I try not to care anymore.
You can also hate a person in the media or in politics. But there’s no point. He or she is not thinking about you. Donald Trump is liked by millions of people, the people who don’t like him can’t get to him. He knows that if he has his followers, he can still do more or less his thing. There are a few people who hate Rihanna (I also don’t understand why), but her music still sells well and she’s still rich so it doesn’t bother her. With famous people, the only one who has a problem, is you.
The feeling of hate often comes from another feeling: dishonesty and powerlessness. You hate that person so much because the person is not fair to you, doesn’t treat you like you want to be treated. Often that person handles things with you or that concern you in a vile way. Sometimes the cause of the hate is a difference in beliefs, so dominant that you can’t get past it.
Hate does things to people. It moves the mind as wel as the body. Whenever I have to do something I don’t like, even hate, I have a very hard time committing to it. But knowing my failure gives it power, will make me do better. When someone I don’t like (I try to use the word ‘hate’ not too much) is talking stupid things or doing stupid things, my blood starts simmering. I can feel my body trembling and I have to control my breathing. I’m not a violent person but when I’m mad I feel like throwing things at the wall. It’s a strange sensation and one I don’t have very often. We can see it in large groups of people. They are so passionate about their hate for the person or situation they are protesting against, that they become violent. But it is never a solution, you lose credibility when you throw the first punch. The key is control and be smarter than the other one.
I think no one lives a non-hate life. I think everyone has someone or something they hate. You can never like everyone and sometimes some people hit too close to home. My advice? Stay away from those people. If you can’t, be smarter, be the bigger person. But don’t let it get you down. Try to be the person no one hates. Be nice, be educated and be open.