I don’t like my writing

I don’t like my writing. Is this a thing? Is this something all writers have? I like my ideas and I like certain sentences and words I write. But I’m never satisfied with the end product.

I alway have lots to say. I’m a big talker with strong opinions. Sometimes I have so much I want to say and so many thoughts I do not want to lose, that I ¬†get lost in my own head. That’s also the way I write. When I have a theme or an opinion I want to write about, I just start writing. Then more and more ideas and feelings come to the surface and before I know it, my text just doesn’t make any sense. When I read it over and over to rewrite and eliminate things, I still believe that everything what I write makes sense. It just doesn’t fit together.

And that’s my issue: I just can’t bring my jumble of thoughts together in one text. Maybe that has to do with my personality? I’m quite restless, as well as in my mind as in my body. Always thinking, always talking, always reading. I just can’t let things go. But that’s not making me a good writer. I love to write and I want to practice and get better but it is quite hard, because then I also have to change a bit of my personality.

I have a feeling I’m doing it again.

I also write, just like I talk. Teachers at school always told me I have a significant style of writing. I never quite worked out if this was a negative or a positive comment… I write with long and short sentences mingled together. With lots of questions and answers. I like to use the art of repeating. Don’t know if I master it yet. Mostly I just like to write like the way I feel, which almost always troubled with something.

I often can’t reach my conclusion. If you read my other things, you may notice it. I lose the plot midway in my text and try to find it again in the end. This is what makes my writing quite messy. From one thing to another. Shit, I’m doing it now, aren’t I?

So. I will try to work on it. I can only do this by writing more and reading more getting more feedback. Please, bear with me. Ironically, I think this was one of my better texts…

 

Advertisements

Plastic

In 2017 plastic surgery is a sure thing. Everyone has access to it, and it is possible in every way. But, it is still a major point of discussion. In my opinion, plastic surgery is a good thing. It helps people feel better about themselves. Even when someone else thinks the results are not prettier than before, the woman or man who had the surgery will feel more beautiful.

When I asked my mom about what she thinks about plastic surgery, she said it is only good for people who need it for medical purposes, like when you were born with a huge tumor on your face. But I think she forgets the mental health side of things. I myself have had plastic surgery. When I was eighteen I underwent a breast reduction. I didn’t have any physical pain before (which I lied about to my mother and the insurance, I admit) but mentally, it wasn’t easy. I did it purely for my mental health, my confidence went up so much.

Another example is the famous Kylie Jenner. She got her lips done when she was seventeen and got loads of hate for it. But why? She herself said in an interview that it made her feel better and prettier. And isn’t this what society preaches: to feel good in your own skin?

I know there are extreme cases that take plastic surgery too far, but there are more cases where it takes a good turn. Plastic surgery is a deeper thing than just plumping up your lips or getting bigger breasts to fit in. It is about feeling confident in your own body. If we can wear clothes that optically slim our legs, fake tan or get piercings, why not change something more permanently, that makes you feel better in the long run.

I think plastic surgery doesn’t have to be as a big deal as it is. Everyone does what he or she wants to his or her own body and no one has the right to judge it. I wish the media would stop shaming celebrities who’ve had plastic surgeries. If you don’t agree with it, just don’t give it any attention. It is 2017, almost anything is possible, I think people undergoing plastic surgery is the least of the worries. (but please do it safely)

Hate

Hate is an ugly thing. I personally try not to hate anything or anyone. But sometimes it is hard, especially with people. When you don’t like certain things, you just don’t use them or buy them. But when you don’t like certain people, and you can do nothing about their presence in your life, you have to find a way to deal with it.

I always try to get to know someone before I judge them. Note: I say ‘try’, I’m not perfect. Sometimes you have to try a little harder than other times. And sometimes, the click just doesn’t come. I have mostly experienced this with teachers, but then you just have to put your pride away and plough through the few classes you have with that person. He or she is quite important for your future. I have experienced this with friends of friends. Then I just can’t understand how we both like the same people but just not each other.

It’s the hardest when the person you hate is someone in the family. Someone you love, loves the person you hate enough to build a life with him or her. The number one advice in this case is: try, try more, try harder. But if it still isn’t right after 15 years and it gets worse? I just stop trying. I don’t care anymore. Or I try not to care anymore.

You can also hate a person in the media or in politics. But there’s no point. He or she is not thinking about you. Donald Trump is liked by millions of people, the people who don’t like him can’t get to him. He knows that if he has his followers, he can still do more or less his thing. There are a few people who hate Rihanna (I also don’t understand why), but her music still sells well and she’s still rich so it doesn’t bother her. With famous people, the only one who has a problem, is you.

The feeling of hate often comes from another feeling: dishonesty and powerlessness. You hate that person so much because the person is not fair to you, doesn’t treat you like you want to be treated. Often that person handles things with you or that concern you in a vile way. Sometimes the cause of the hate is a difference in beliefs, so dominant that you can’t get past it.

Hate does things to people. It moves the mind as wel as the body. Whenever I have to do something I don’t like, even hate, I have a very hard time committing to it. But knowing my failure gives it power, will make me do better. When someone I don’t like (I try to use the word ‘hate’ not too much) is talking stupid things or doing stupid things, my blood starts simmering. I can feel my body trembling and I have to control my breathing. I’m not a violent person but when I’m mad I feel like throwing things at the wall. It’s a strange sensation and one I don’t have very often. We can see it in large groups of people. They are so passionate about their hate for the person or situation they are protesting against, that they become violent. But it is never a solution, you lose credibility when you throw the first punch. The key is control and be smarter than the other one.

I think no one lives a non-hate life. I think everyone has someone or something they hate. You can never like everyone and sometimes some people hit too close to home. My advice? Stay away from those people. If you can’t, be smarter, be the bigger person. But don’t let it get you down. Try to be the person no one hates. Be nice, be educated and be open.