Thoughts about growing up

As I am studying for my exams this month, I’m thinking a lot about my future. I’m not the best student so I have to retake a few exams. It is also my second educational programme. The first one just wasn’t right for me. So you can say that I’m already a year or two ‘behind’. I feel like I’m already twenty and I’m still standing nowhere. I’ve still got nothing, while others already have everything. A few of my friends already got work. A few are studying abroad. My best friend only has a few months to go and will graduate with a degree. But then again, I don’t want to work yet. I don’t want to finish school. I like school. And I like my life right now: the homework, the student-life, the little responsibilities, the independency (but not too much). Is that selfish?

I also still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t know what career path I want to follow. Am I already supposed to know? I’ve got a few ideas but my ideas change as often as I change my underwear. One day I want to be a hairdresser, another day I want to be CEO of a big company.

I’m also still figuring out what I’m capable of, what my talents and passions are. I admire people who found their talent at a young age and are now already successful, but I’m not one of them. My mom often says to me: “stop floating around and start deciding”. But why? I’ll have to make decisions about important stuff my whole life. Let me enjoy the indecisive years of the early twenties. Or better: let me make stupid decisions and then make them right again. What I do have, is time to blog, time to travel and time to read. Not a lot of people can say that. I’m not jumping up and down to change that.

So what I want to say is: it’s okay to figure yourself out before you jump into the ‘real world’. There are plenty of youngsters who are still searching just like you, I’m one of them. The pressure to succied and to work is high, but if it doesn’t feel right, don’t give in to it. You’ll find your way. And if you find it, make sure it’s a happy way, one you want to keep living.

I also will have to read this back. Because daily I have these thoughts: what am I doing? I hope when people read this, they realize that being young and acting young and having fun is not a crime. We’ll get to the adult life soon enough.

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