Tea is the solution

I’m 1/8th British. It’s not much, but whenever I’m drinking a cup of tea, someone brings it up. The British are known for their love of tea. They are also proud to be called ‘tea-people’. And as they should. I love tea, and what I love the most about it, is the meaning behind it. British people seem to solve everything with a cup of tea. When you’re not feeling good: have a cuppa. When you’ve got a problem: have a cuppa. I really wanted to know what it is about tea that makes it such a panacea?

Unfortunately I can’t ask my great-grandfather any more, so I went searching on the internet. I found out that tea has lots of meanings for lots of different people. But the main reason was comfort. Tea brings comfort to people. And reason. Tea brings reason.

When I start my day, the first thing I do is make a cup of tea. It wakes me up and prepares me for the day. That way, I also drink some of the 1.5 liters of water we’re supposed to drink each day. Throughout the day I drink at least 2 to 8 cups of tea, depending if I’m home or not (too bad tea isn’t offered everywhere like coffee is). Hydration is key to live your life. Tea is hydrating.

On days where I feel cold I drink the most tea (obviously). The feeling of the warm liquid sliding down your throat is just the most comfiest feeling. But even when I’m on holidays in the summer a nice cup of tea can bring contentment. When I’m feeling very stressed of anxious, sitting down with some herbal tea can bring peace in my mind. Drinking tea while I’m writing or working for school can also help me focus.

We see in British series or films, that when a problem occurs, the first thing people often say is: let’s make a cup of tea. I love the idea that tea can order your thoughts and can help you see reason.

At lastly, tea, for me, brings memories. There’s tea that I only drink at my grandparents. There’s tea that reminds me of when I studied for exams last year, as I drank liters. There’s tea that I always buy because I know my best friend likes it and we often drink tea together. In my opinion, tea isn’t just a simple drink.People all over the world drink it and find comfort in it. It’s a warm liquid that can melt your body as well as your mind.

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Loneliness, the sleeping beast

So let’s get serious. I wasn’t going to post this, but I thought, why not? Maybe people can relate to me and feel a bit better, knowing that they’re not alone. Sometimes, I feel really lonely. Deep down I know it doesn’t make sense, because I do have family and friends who love me. It’s also not a shame to stay a night in or to spend a day alone. But in moments like that, when I’m watching some show in the evening in stead of going out, it gets in my head that I just have no friend to go out with.

I don’t think I have a lot of friends, but what is the right amount of friends, before you can’t feel alone anymore? The friends I do have, I’m quite close to, I believe. I don’t know how they feel about me… Also, when is someone your friend and when is someone your acquaintance? In that case I could say I have a lot of acquaintances, but can I text them when I just want to talk?

To my close circle I can count seven friends, which are divided into three groups. Those three groups don’t know each other, so that can make it quite difficult. I also have a completely different relation with the three groups. One group are my two oldest friends, they’re just there for everything, although I don’t really see them that often. Another group are my two most recent friends. They are not the kind of friends who I go out with to get wasted. They’re more talk-friends, but that’s okay. Then, we have the last group of friends. We’ve seen each others best and worst, all of my firsts were with them. From that group I was like ‘best friends’ with person X. Sadly we grew out of each other. Were still good friends but I’m not her number one anymore. Now I could say I’m ‘besties’ with person Y from that group. We see each other three times a week, go out together, exercise together, drink tea together… Person Y also has a boyfriend, so I’m also not her number one. Person Y is also the most social person I know, so she has lots of other friends, same for person X and person Z. For example: I want to go out tonight. Person X and Z have a party with other friends, the other friend-groups are not my going-out-group, Person Y doesn’t want to. Result: I’m not going out, because I have no one to go with.

Another thing I’m quite insecure and sad about: I’ve never had a boyfriend. It is quite hard to not be someone’s number one. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, that no one wants me at the top of their list. I want to be on someone’s mind every day, I want to feel loved. But I don’t know how to get there. I don’t know what to change to make people like me more, to have more friends. It can make me quite sad at times. At school I don’t have a lot of friends because I don’t like the people, or do the people not like me? It’s hard, but I’ll figure it out. Everyone seems to be doing good, except for me. Meanwhile, I enjoy the moments I do have with my friends, and once in a while I spend a night in with my laptop.

A little something: SKAM

Lately, all I saw on Tumblr was Skam. I went investigating and… I binged the whole show (up until the currant episode) in one weekend.

Skam is a Norwegian webseries about teenagers in highschool. We follow their journey with friends, love, sex, school and parents. The show was already really popular in Norway, but now it is taking over the whole world. Every season there’s a new main character, still from the same group of friends or same school. It is now that Isak is the main character in season 3 that the show blew up. Isak is exploring his sexuality and discovers that he likes boys, which results in a gay storyline. Tumblr jumped on GIFs of the boys kissing and shared the images massively.

But I can’t blame them. I’ve binged the show, had no sleep and got no schoolwork done. It is so good. Realistic with a hint of humor. It is no simple soap. We can see very stereotypical girls and boys, but they each bring their own advice and thoughts to the table. It makes an interesting mix of friends, misunderstandings, opinions and important life-lessons.

You can tell that there has been put thought into how the images were shot. We can see a mix of close-ups and wide shots. There has been played with the color-settings to capture the atmosphere of the scene. Slow-motion is often used to dramatize or even humorize a scene. The music added to the shots has been cleverly used. They mix classical music with Norwegian music and the biggest pophits. The music is adapted to the emotion of the scene. Instead of being background noise, it adds something to the show.

If we’re talking favorite characters I have to nominate Sana. She seems like a very pessimistic girl who can’t be bothered about the problems the majority of the teenage girls are dealing with, like boys and sex. But when you need her the most, she’s the one who would kill for her friends. She stands up to everybody who tries to hurt her loved ones. In one scene she presents the greatest monologue about war and peace and power in the history of teenagers. If I ever had 20 percent of her coolness I would be happy. I really hope she will be the main character for season 4.

So, peeps. Find yourself the episodes with English subtitles (on Tumblr you can find them), follow the characters on insta (yes, the fictive characters have instagram!), and start binging. Be ready to fall in love.

Girls: unite!

Not so long ago I was watching a debating-show on the telly. The moderator was a 40+ male. The panelists consisted of three 50+ males and a teenage girl. The subject: sending naked pictures (nudes) and sexting. The girl was a student that was representing the youth that they saw as the sexting generation. The three older men saw themselves as the man with all of the answers and the good advice. While the girl was stating that sending nudes is the new form of pornography, the new form of buying Playboy (perfectly normal, may I add), the men were disgusted by the phenomenon. F

urther in the discussion the leaking of nudes of young girls was mentioned. In the men’s opinions it was the fault of the girl: ‘she shouldn’t have sent the nudes’. Well, I would like to say a big fuck you to that. When a girl sends nudes, it’s because she wants to, because she feels good about herself and because she trusts the other person. When the other person decides to spread these photo’s, it’s a violation of privacy and trust. The girl is in no way at fault.

In the debate the three men and the moderator were all downplaying the girl’s opinion on national television in prime time. I’m beyond disgusted that, even in 2016, it is still the course of events. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the world where Trump is the chosen president. I would have liked to say that in my country it isn’t that bad. But it is. People support Trump over here. Girls get groped in the club when you pass a group off men. Girls get asked what they were wearing when they got raped and go to the police to press charges, followed by a raised eyebrow. Girls get called nasty things on the streets.

But as the three men at the panel said: ‘just get a bit tougher, stop whining’. IT IS NOT THE GIRL’S FAULT. So girls, unite and fight opinionated, disgusting men like that. Don’t be afraid: write letters, press charges, talk about it and slap them if you have to. But don’t settle and except. You’re worth it to be treated right.

Thoughts about growing up

As I am studying for my exams this month, I’m thinking a lot about my future. I’m not the best student so I have to retake a few exams. It is also my second educational programme. The first one just wasn’t right for me. So you can say that I’m already a year or two ‘behind’. I feel like I’m already twenty and I’m still standing nowhere. I’ve still got nothing, while others already have everything. A few of my friends already got work. A few are studying abroad. My best friend only has a few months to go and will graduate with a degree. But then again, I don’t want to work yet. I don’t want to finish school. I like school. And I like my life right now: the homework, the student-life, the little responsibilities, the independency (but not too much). Is that selfish?

I also still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t know what career path I want to follow. Am I already supposed to know? I’ve got a few ideas but my ideas change as often as I change my underwear. One day I want to be a hairdresser, another day I want to be CEO of a big company.

I’m also still figuring out what I’m capable of, what my talents and passions are. I admire people who found their talent at a young age and are now already successful, but I’m not one of them. My mom often says to me: “stop floating around and start deciding”. But why? I’ll have to make decisions about important stuff my whole life. Let me enjoy the indecisive years of the early twenties. Or better: let me make stupid decisions and then make them right again. What I do have, is time to blog, time to travel and time to read. Not a lot of people can say that. I’m not jumping up and down to change that.

So what I want to say is: it’s okay to figure yourself out before you jump into the ‘real world’. There are plenty of youngsters who are still searching just like you, I’m one of them. The pressure to succied and to work is high, but if it doesn’t feel right, don’t give in to it. You’ll find your way. And if you find it, make sure it’s a happy way, one you want to keep living.

I also will have to read this back. Because daily I have these thoughts: what am I doing? I hope when people read this, they realize that being young and acting young and having fun is not a crime. We’ll get to the adult life soon enough.